


if it's not too late

by jagseun



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Humor, Inspired by a Movie, M/M, dad jinyoung, kid yugyeom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 01:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13447917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jagseun/pseuds/jagseun
Summary: jinyoung tells his son yugyeom the story of how he met his father.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is based on the movie 'definitely, maybe'
> 
> title inspiration from got7's song 'face'
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated. ^^

Jinyoung doesn’t even flinch when his assistant dumps a huge stack of papers on his desk.  He had been expecting this.

“Are you okay?  The bags under your eyes look darker than usual.”  He appreciated her concern, but it was nothing she could help with.

Jinyoung worked at the local newspaper writing articles day after day.  They were short on staff and he had to pick up the slack.

“Don’t worry about me.”  Jinyoung shooed her away, finishing typing out his sentence before picking up the stack of papers, _Petition for Dissolution of Marriage_ written in bold letters on the top.

Jinyoung had never imagined he’d be getting divorced after ten years of marriage, but he wasn’t as upset as he thought he would be.  He and his husband had come to the decision in peace- neither of them felt passionate about the marriage anymore.  It was the only logical step.

Jinyoung had always hated being single, but he couldn’t stay in a marriage with no feelings attached to it anymore.

Today was a Tuesday, meaning that no matter how much work was piling up he always clocked out at exactly three in the afternoon. 

He had a date with the most important person in his life.

* * *

 

Jinyoung walked into his son’s school expecting the usual- but he was greeted with fleets of angry parents instead.

“What-“Jinyoung tried to ask; as everyone is yelling. “What’s going on?!”  He walks into the chaos, children crying and parents demanding to speak to the principal.

“It’s awful!”  A mom says, her child cradled against her side.  “They started teaching sex-ed today?  How dare they?!”  She yells.

“Oh,” Jinyoung had been expecting someone had gotten stabbed or something.  “Aren’t they a bit… young?”

“Mom!  Dad stuck his penis in you!  That’s how you made me!”  The girl yelled at her mom.

“No!  Don’t say any more!”  The mom covered the girl’s mouth. 

Jinyoung thought this was funny until he realized something very dangerous. 

Jinyoung started speed walking through the halls, frantically looking for his son amongst all the distressed parents.  “Yugyeom!”  He called out.  “Yugyeom!  Where are you?”

He found him eventually, walking towards him, looking much calmer than the rest of the students.  “Dad,” Yugyeom stops in front of him, thinking to himself for a moment more before speaking.  “To make a baby you put the penis in the vagina but… you have a penis, and daddy also has a penis… so how did you guys make me?”

_Oh, dear god._

* * *

 

“I don’t get it!  Sara said she was an accident, but how do you put your penis into a vagina on _accident?_ ”

“Yugyeom, I told you to stop talking about this.”  Jinyoung practically pulled Yugyeom through the lobby of his apartment to the elevator.

“I’m not going to stop talking about it until you explain how you and daddy had me!”

“I told you, I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

“I’m ten years old!  That’s pretty old!”

“Drop it Yugyeom-“

“PENIS!  PENIS!  PENIS!”  Jinyoung slapped a hand over Yugyeom’s mouth but it was too late, everyone in the lobby was staring at them.

“Yugyeom, you promise to shut up right _now_ and I’ll tell you everything when we get upstairs.”

Yugyeom didn’t say another word until they were in Jinyoung’s apartment.

* * *

 

“Chicken or beef for dinner?”

“You promised to tell me.”

Jinyoung sighed, might as well get this over with.  Just like ripping off a band-aid.  “Yugyeom,” Jinyoung sat down at the dinner table across from him.  “You’re adopted.”

Yugyeom stared at him blankly.

“I know this might come as a shock but just know me and daddy just wanted to wait until you were ready, and if you have any questions-“

“Don’t worry, I know I’m adopted.”

“Oh, that’s- wait, _what_?!”

“Daddy told me that a long time ago, it’s also kind of obvious.”

“You were- but- you were confused before and I…”

“I was just messing with you.”  Yugyeom gave him a cheeky smile and Jinyoung wondered exactly why he loved him in the first place.

“You brat… why I…”  Yugyeom just laughed at Jinyoung’s anger.  He knew Jinyoung couldn’t do anything- he was all talk no action.  _Fucking smartass._

“Also!  I’d like chicken, please and thank you.”

Jinyoung sighed, there was no winning when it came to Yugyeom.  “Yes, young master, would you like a backrub while I’m at it?”

That got Yugyeom to laugh and Jinyoung couldn’t stay angry at him, walking back to the kitchen to start on dinner.

Every since Jinyoung had separated from his husband Jinyoung only got to see Yugyeom on Tuesdays and Sundays, so he had to cherish every moment he had with him.  Yugyeom was all he had left.

“Dad, was daddy the only guy you dated?”

Jinyoung almost snorted.  “Not at all.”

“So, you dated around a lot?”  Jinyoung didn’t like the way Yugyeom said that or the fact he knew that term at all.

“No,” If Jinyoung didn’t count any weird hookups, he hadn’t dated many people at all.  “I’ve only been in three major relationships.”

“And one of those was daddy?”

“Of course.”

“Hmm,” Yugyeom started thinking again.  “Why did you fall in love with daddy?”

Jinyoung thought back to the first time he met him, and all the good times they shared.  “Well, I fell in love with him because he was handsome, smart, fun…”  

“Since you’re getting a divorce, does that mean that now daddy is ugly, stupid, and boring?” 

“No!  Not at all.”

“Then I don’t understand…”

Jinyoung always had a hard time with this.  “Yugyeom, sometimes feelings change.  People are always changing, what we loved in the past can differ from what we love now.”

“What about the other guys you dated?  Were you in love with them?”

“Huh?”

“You said you were in three relationships before you got married, what were those like?”

Jinyoung turned the burner on the stove off and poured his finished stir-fry into two plates.  “You want me to tell you about my relationships?”

“I want to know how you met daddy.”  Yugyeom admitted.

Jinyoung didn’t know if he should be telling him everything- but if he left out some details it wouldn’t be so bad.  “How about this, I’ll tell you about my past relationships, but I’ll use fake names and you have to guess which one is daddy.”

“Oh!  Kind of like a love story mystery?”  Yugyeom perked up in his chair.

“Yes!”  Jinyoung got kind of excited about this as well.  “My first relationship was in college, I met him on the first day of my first year- and I fell for him immediately.”

“That’s not really that interesting.”  Yugyeom complained, his mouth half full of food.

“Okay, I guess he just asked me out and we started dating, it wasn’t all that interesting.  We dated for all four years of college.  I had already planned out our entire lives together but after we graduated we both had different dreams and things got a bit sticky…

“Oh?”  That caught Yugyeom’s interest.

Jinyoung smiled.

“Let’s call him… JB.”


	2. Chapter 2

_1996_

“Jaebum, if you keep dyeing your hair like that you’ll eventually go bald.”  Jinyoung poked his boyfriend in the side.

Jaebum ignored him and continued to press the bright pink dye onto his fringe, leaving streaks on his bleach blond hair.  “I’m still young, I’ll be fine.”

Jinyoung shrugged and went back to packing the last of his things in a suitcase.

“I can’t believe you’re actually leaving.”  Sungjin popped out of the bathroom and plopped onto the bed next to Jinyoung.  “We’ve been together for four years now…”

After graduating college Jinyoung had big dreams.  He had moved into a small apartment with his boyfriend and Sungjin, but he knew he wouldn’t be staying around for long.  “I have nothing left for me in this small town, it’s time to finally hit the big leagues!” 

“All the way to New York?  I still don’t know how I feel about this.”  Jaebum finished dyeing his hair and he got on the bed as well.

“You guys don’t understand!  I want to be on Broadway!  One doesn’t get to _Broadway_ if they aren’t in _New York_.”  In Jinyoung’s mind, he already had his entire life planned out.  Move to New York, join a company, impress with his acting skills, debut on Broadway, convince Jaebum to move out to New York with him, ask Jaebum to marry him, become a celebrity, adopt a few kids… perfect.  _A flawless plan._

“Aren’t you going to miss me too much?”  Jaebum teased.

“I’ll be fine, but the offer still stands if you want to move to New York with me!”  Jinyoung tried but he knew Jaebum wasn’t that interested.  If he would agree he could get that whole life plan moving quicker.  Jinyoung was ready to charge forward but Jaebum was still stuck- unsure what his next move in life would be. 

“I’ll call you every day babe, don’t worry.”  Jaebum got up and pulled Jinyoung into a hug.  “Chase your dreams, don’t worry too much about me, alright?”

“I’ll keep on eye on him to make sure he behaves!”  Sungjin shouted from behind.

Jinyoung gave in.  “I’ll miss you, seriously.  I still don’t know how I’ll manage without you, Jaebum.”

“I believe in you,”  Jaebum said, giving Jinyoung a quick kiss on the lips.  “Your taxi is waiting outside.”

“Guess there’s no turning back now.”  Jinyoung had already received a job offer from a play company in New York.  This was really _it._

“Oh, Jinyoung, I have a friend up in New York, you mind giving this to him?”  Jaebum handed him a worn-out journal.  “I wrote his name and number on there, give him a call, alright?”

“Got it.”  Jinyoung tucked the book away in his shoulder bag as Sungjin helped put his suitcase into the trunk of the car.

“I’ll call you both as soon as I land!  Love you!”  Jinyoung yelled as he was driven away, en route to the airport.

_This is it._

* * *

 

“So, you’re Park Jinyoung?  The new intern?”  A man eyed him up and down as he reported on his first day on the job.

“Yes! This is really an honor- I’ve heard about this company in the news.  I am great at acting, singing, dancing-“

“Two caramel macchiatos, three americanos, and one green tea latte.  You got all that?”

“I…”  Jinyoung was confused.  “What?”

“TWO caramel macchiatos, THREE americanos, and ONE green tea latte.”  The man emphasized again.  “We don’t have all day; our actors are thirsty, they can’t function properly without caffeine.”

A credit card was shoved into Jinyoung’s hand and it didn’t hit him until he stepped outside that they had instantly turned him into the company coffee boy. 

He didn’t fly all the way to New York to become a _coffee boy._

Jinyoung hoped after the whole coffee thing he could start acting or overseeing or _anything_ other than fetching scripts and coffee.  Unfortunately, three coffee trips later and Jinyoung realized all his hopes and dreams had been crushed.

“Hey, if you guys need an extra to play- maybe a passer-by?  I don’t even need lines-“

“You.”  The same man from earlier pointed at him.

“M-me?”  Was this finally his chance?

Instead, another script was shoved into his hands.  “I need ten copies of this, go to the copier in the basement.”

Jinyoung huffed.  “Yes, sir.” 

Jinyoung mumbled curses to himself all the way down the stairs.  _How could he have been so stupid_?   What was he going to tell Jaebum?  Did he come all the way to New York to buy coffee and make copies?

At the bottom of the stairs he thought he would be greeted by a copy machine, but instead, he was in front of a desk.  A man with unnaturally bright red hair was sitting behind it, solving a Rubik’s cube.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for that copier…”  Jinyoung asked.

“How many copies?”  The man held out his hand.

“Uh, ten.”  Jinyoung handed over the thick stack of papers to the red-haired man.  He carefully scanned each page, pressed a button on a huge copy machine, and let the copies print out very slowly.  He then sat back down and picked his cube back up, hardly acknowledging Jinyoung’s existence. 

“So… I just wait?”

“The printer is old and slow, you will have to wait.”

“Okay… are you part of the company too?  Your job is making copies?”

“Yes.”  He answered promptly, not even looking up.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

“No.”  He answered.  The loudest thing about this guy was his hair.

Jinyoung stayed silent for another moment, listening to the printer slowly ease each copy out.

“I’m Jinyoung, the new intern here.”  Jinyoung finally said to break the awkward silence.

“Okay.” 

“…and you are?”

“Mark.”  Another awkward conversation ended there.

The printer _finally_ printed out the last of the copies and Mark got up to staple them together.

Mark handed over the stack of papers.  Another awkward silence.

“It was, uh, nice meeting you Mark.”

“Yup.”  Mark said before he sat back down and went back to his cube.

Jinyoung couldn’t tell if this guy was rude or dead inside.  Either way, he didn’t take much time to think about it, hurrying back upstairs with the copies.

* * *

 

Jinyoung had been working at the company for three weeks now and it had not gotten any better.

“Are you okay?  That’s your fourth drink in the past hour.”  Youngjae was the only other intern at the company- and he also happened to be his temporary roommate in New York.  Jinyoung had big plans but he suddenly wasn’t so sure he would be able to live in New York permanently anymore.

“I’m fine, I need to drink away my sorrows.”  Youngjae was a bit tipsy himself, so he laughed at Jinyoung’s misery.

Even though Youngjae was also an intern at the same company his specialty was stage lighting and they got him doing that as soon as he got there.  The company had no shortage of actors so Jinyoung was left with nothing to do other than coffee and copy runs until they needed him.

“Cheer up, you have a boyfriend back home who’s crazy about you.  I’m sure he wouldn’t want to know you’re crying in a bar at one in the morning.”  Youngjae always teased him about Jaebum- since his work life was a disaster he spent most of his time talking on and on about how much he was in love with him.  It was extremely sappy but true; he missed him a ton.

“Is there a phone in here?  I need to call him.”  Jinyoung shoved his glass into Youngjae’s hand after he spotted a payphone in the corner of the bar.  “I’ll be right back.”

Jinyoung pulled a mess of coins out of his pocket- a couple scattering on the floor.  He didn’t care enough to pick them up.  He pushed the coins into the slot and dialed Jaebum’s number.

“Jaeeeebuuum!”  Jinyoung slurred.

“Jinyoung?”  Jaebum yawned.  “Why are you calling me so late?”

“I looove you.  Soo much…. My handsome boyfriend.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Babe, you need to visit me in New York.  I miss you sooooo much.” 

Jaebum sighed.  “You sound like a mess.  Honestly, I was planning to surprise you but, I might be coming down to visit next weekend.”

“Wait, really?” 

“Yes.”

Jinyoung was so happy he almost burst into tears.  “This is so great!  My gosh… I… I love you.”

“I love you too, and if you love me so much you’ll put the phone down and go home.  Can’t have you out so late and so drunk without me.”

“Yes, sir!  I can’t wait to see you, babe.  Sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s alright- oh, did you call Jackson yet?”

“Who?”

“I told you to drop the journal off…”

“Oh!  I called and left a message, don’t worry I’ll try to stop by before the weekend,” Jinyoung smiled again.  “And then I’ll see you.”

“Of course.  Good night Jinyoung, get home safely!”

“Sweet dreams darling.”  Jinyoung made an obnoxious kissing noise into the receiver before hanging up and getting his drink back from Youngjae.

“Someone’s in a better mood.”

“I’m asking Jaebum to marry me.  This weekend.”

“You’re what?!”

Jinyoung chugged down the last of his drink.  “My job sucks, but if there’s anything I’m sure of is that Jaebum and I are meant to be.  What’s the point in waiting?  I’m ready and I’ve been ready since the moment we met.”

“Have you guys even discussed marriage?”

“No, but it’s the only logical path.  Once we’re engaged Jaebum will move down here permanently so even if I’m miserable I don’t have to be miserable _and_ alone.  It’s the perfect plan!”

“Are you sure you should be making these decisions drunk-“

“Sungjin will be the best man!  I must fly in all my family in from Korea… I mean I don’t have all the money in the world but I’m sure we’ll manage.  All that matters is the love in our hearts!”  Jinyoung said dramatically.

“Okay, that’s great but maybe we should talk about this more when you’re… sober.”  Youngjae calmly took Jinyoung’s hand.  “It’s time to go home.”

“Alright!  Don’t try changing my mind Youngjae!  The power of love always wins!” 

Jinyoung was positive this would all work out.

* * *

 

“…Jackson?”  Jinyoung had made it out to this Jackson guy’s apartment to drop of the journal for his boyfriend, but he was greeted at the door by a much older man wearing only a robe.  “I’m sorry, I think I have the wrong place.”

“No, Jackson is here.  Come on in, I’ll get him for you.”  Jinyoung wasn’t sure if he should walk in, but against his better judgment, he stepped inside.

“Do you live with Jackson… or?”

“No, just here for the night.”

“Oh, you’re his…”

“Daddy.”

Jinyoung was utterly confused.  “You’re his father?”

“Park Jinyoung!”  Their conversation was interrupted by a handsome man entering the room.  “I’ve been expecting you.”  Jackson looked over at the older man and signaled for him to get out, so they could talk alone.

“Jackson Wang?”

“That’s me!  Wow, so you’re Jaebum’s man of the hour…”  Jackson studied him, his eyes glancing up and down.

“If by ‘man of the hour’ you mean ‘boyfriend of four years’ that would be me.”  Jinyoung clarified.

“Amazing!  I didn’t think Jaebum would ever settle down.”  Jackson motioned for Jinyoung to sit down.  “Sit!  Do you want something to drink?  Water, juice, vodka?”

“I actually just came to drop off this journal-“

“Some water at least.”  Jinyoung couldn’t read this guy’s personality so easily and it was freaking him out.

“Water… is fine.”  Jackson smiled as he hurried into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water.  “That’s not your father, is it?”

“Is that what he told you?” 

“He said he’s your _daddy_.”

Jackson laughed at that.  “He’s my economics professor.”

“Your what-“

“Anyway!  Park Jinyoung!  Enough about me!  Tell me about yourself,” Jackson sat down across from him, his elbows on the table poised to interrogate.  “How are you liking New York?”

“Uh… it’s been challenging, but I’m slowly warming up to it.”

“Must be hard being so far away from your boyfriend, such a handsome guy roaming the streets all by yourself…” Jinyoung took a long sip of his water.  “I’m surprised nobody has tried to snatch you up for themselves.”

“I can assure you, I’m not interested in anyone e-“ Jinyoung felt Jackson’s hand on his knee and jumped up, spilling the rest of his water down his shirt.

“Oh!  I’m sorry, do you need help cleaning that up?”

“No!  No, I’m fine,” Jinyoung started walking backward.  “I’ll just leave this book on the table.”

“Wait!  Don’t look so scared, I’m sorry.”  Jackson followed him as Jinyoung tried to leave, pulling him as they stood outside of his door.  “Jinyoung…”

“What do you want?”

“Jaebum is really lucky to have such a dedicated man-“

“JACKSON!  DADDY’S HUNGRY!”  The old man yelled from inside the apartment.

Jackson sighed.  “I’M COMING, GIVE ME ONE SECOND!”

“What are you-“ Before Jinyoung could react Jackson leaned in and pressed his lips to his. 

It was weird- Jinyoung should’ve pulled away but he let Jackson kiss him for a few moments.

“I just wanted to see what that was like.”

Jinyoung’s face was completely red at this point.  “Uh, yeah.”  Jinyoung’s mind was practically screaming at him.  _You’re practically an engaged man!_

“Tell me if Jaebum comes into town, maybe all three of us can… hang out together.”  Jackson smirked.

“A-all _three_ of us?”

“Yeah,” Jackson patted Jinyoung on the shoulder.  “It was nice meeting you.”  He pulled his door shut and Jinyoung was just left there standing in front of his closed door.

Jinyoung decided to pretend the last bit of that visit never happened.

* * *

 

The emotions finally hit Jinyoung when he picked up his engagement ring from the jeweler- _this was really happening._

It was late in the evening when he decided to stop by at an ice cream place after he got off work and picked up his ring.  He was proud and decided to reward himself for moving up in life.

“One vanilla scoop please.”

“That’ll be $5.25.”

“Five dollars?!  For one scoop?  Back home I could get any scoop I wanted for less than three dollars!”

“New to New York?  That’s the price of living up here.”  The guy didn’t look like he was pleased by Jinyoung’s sudden outburst.

“I can pay the extra two dollars if you’re really that stingy.”  Jinyoung heard a familiar voice behind him.

“Mark?”  Jinyoung had almost forgotten he existed.  They had met a few more times since their first encounter but they still barely managed to have a conversation.

“Hi.”  Mark smiled at him, pulling out his wallet.

“No!  I can pay- it’s fine.”  Jinyoung got out his own wallet and paid for his scoop with no more hassles.

“Kind of late for ice cream, isn’t it?”  Mark said as he stepped forward in line.

“I could ask you the same question.”  Jinyoung got his cup of vanilla and stepped to the side.

Mark just laughed in response.  “One scoop of strawberry and olive oil in a waffle cone please.” 

“Strawberry and olive oil?  What kind of flavor is that?”

“Don’t knock it until you try it… not like I’d expect someone who orders vanilla to know anything about trying new flavors.”

“Vanilla is _a classic._ ”

“It’s also painfully plain.”  Mark retorted.

“Since when did you talk to me?” 

“Since I found out you have awful taste in ice cream.” Mark was handed his cone and the cashier scanned his card. 

“Looks like that’s free today; happy birthday.”

“It’s your birthday?”  Jinyoung asked.

“Why else would I be getting ice cream so late at night?”  Mark smiled but there was a hint of sadness.

Jinyoung followed Mark as he walked outside.  “Happy birthday!  Did you have any plans…?”  Mark looked so strangely alone, Jinyoung had to pry.

“Well, I _had_ plans.  My boyfriend was planning to take me out, but he decided to take a last-minute gig since he’s more interested in his music career than me- so now I’m just here with my ice cream.  I was planning to hit up a pizza joint too, maybe also fried chicken, then some more ice cream…” 

“I’ll take you out for a birthday dinner.”

Mark raised an eyebrow.  “Why would you do that?”

“I can’t see you waste away on your birthday alone like this…”  Jinyoung knew he should probably head home since Jaebum would be arriving in the morning, but his conscience couldn’t let Mark suffer like this.

“Hmmm,” Mark took a bite of his ice cream as he pondered the suggestion.  “Most restaurants would be closed by now, how do you feel about a bar?”

* * *

 

To say that they both were tipsy would be an understatement.  They had too much fun at the bar which turned into multiple drinks and maybe some dancing?  Jinyoung couldn’t quite remember.  He only remembered having the time of his life.

“So, this Jaebum guy you keep talking about, he’s your college sweetheart?”  Mark asked as they both stumbled down the street, walking through a deserted park.  It had to have been past midnight at this point.  Jinyoung wasn’t keeping track of the time.

“Yes!  He’s the love of my life!  The… best.”  Jinyoung slurred slightly. 

Mark huffed.  “If you like him that much, why don’t you marry him?”

“Actually,” Jinyoung felt around in his pocket for the ring he bought earlier, popping it open to show Mark.

“Holy shit.”

“He gets it tomorrow, I made a reservation at a fancy restaurant.”

“That’s amazing!”  Mark gave Jinyoung a hearty pat on the back. “What are you going to say?”

Jinyoung hadn’t planned that far.  “I’m still working on it.”

Mark started giggling. “You’re getting engaged and you don’t even know how to do the proposal?”

“It can’t be that hard.”  Jinyoung was aware he probably sounded ridiculous, but he couldn’t stop talking. 

“Practice with me!”  Mark said grabbing Jinyoung by the shoulders and making then stand face to face.  Jinyoung almost tripped from how sharply Mark had turned him.

“I’m _not_ marrying you.”

“I said it’s practice!  Come on, you don’t want to mess up with the actual love of your life, right?”  Mark crossed his arms.  “I’m Jaebum!  Your love!”

Jinyoung mind was so cloudy.  Something was telling him this entire night was a bad idea, but he kept playing along.  “Alright,” Jinyoung clumsily got on one knee, holding the ring up.  “Will you, uh, marry me?”

Mark burst into shrieking laughter at that attempt.  “Are you serious?  That wasn’t convincing at all.”

Jinyoung cleared his throat and spoke more confidently.  “Will you marry me?”

“Hmm… still a no from me, sorry.”  Mark smirked.  “Where’s the feeling?”

“What do you want from me?!”

“You’re asking this guy to spend the rest of his life with you, what are you really thinking?  Convince me.”

“Listen…I…” 

“Speak from the heart.”

Jinyoung took a deep breath.  “I love you and I have loved you since the first moment I saw you.  We’ve been through so much together and never for a moment have I ever imagined a life without you so if there, so please, since I can’t live without you will you… uh, marry me?” 

Mark was silent for a moment, then he started giggling.  “Cheesy, but I liked it.  I’ll marry you, I guess.” 

“You guess?”  Jinyoung was kind of offended, he really put his heart into that one.

Mark laughed in response.  “Walk me home?”

* * *

 

“Why do you have so many copies of _Lord of the Flies_?”  Mark had invited him in and Jinyoung had come up- against his better judgment again.  He was thirsty, and Mark’s home just seemed so inviting.  “You must really like the book.”  There were at least thirty copies of the book lining a bookshelf in Mark’s living room.

“Oh, I’ve actually never gotten past the second chapter.  Reading isn’t my thing.”  Mark said as he handed Jinyoung his glass of water and sat next to him on the couch.

“What?  Why do you have so many copies then?”

“Back in the day my dad got me a copy for my birthday, he wrote a pretty lengthy inscription in it.  At the time I would’ve rather received the skateboard I’d been eyeing for a month, so I was kind of angry when I got the book instead,” Mark took a sip of his water.  “That was the last gift I ever received from him.”

“What happened?”

“He died in a car accident three weeks later.” 

“I’m… so sorry.”  Jinyoung instinctively reached an arm around Mark’s shoulders to comfort him.

“Anyway, the years went by and my mom and I moved away.  The book got lost… every time I see a copy in a used bookstore I walk in and pick it up to see if it’s the copy from my dad.  I don’t know why I started buying them- all the ones I own have inscriptions.  It feels nice to read them sometimes even if I haven’t found the one from my dad yet.”

Jinyoung was still sad but Mark smiled at him.

“Don’t look so down, it’s nothing I haven’t gotten over,” Mark got up and turned on the radio.  “So, what else did you want to talk about?”

* * *

 

Talking with Mark was surprisingly easy- considering the first few times they had met Mark had barely spoken a word to him.  They were definitely sobering up now that it was ass o’ clock in the morning, but Jinyoung wasn’t tired at all.  He wanted to talk to Mark for as long as he could.

“Do you think I’m an idiot?  Coming all the way to New York to become a performer on Broadway?”

“Nah, if that’s what you’re passionate about I can only applaud you for making it this far.”

“What about you?  Making copies can’t be your lifelong dream.”

Mark groaned.  “I don’t know, and I don’t know how to know what I really want to do.”

“There has to be something, not even a job, just something you want to do?”

“Well, I’ve always wanted to travel, visit all the places I know nothing about… I’ve been saving money.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“Well, my boyfriend isn’t too keen on it because his job is over here…”

“Honestly?  If he can’t even spend your birthday with you I don’t think he’s worth your time.”

“Honestly, you’re probably right,” Mark was looking at him funny, his eyes kind of glazed over.  “You know what?”

Jinyoung leaned in a little closer, what was this weird tension?  He didn’t understand it at all, but he was entranced.  “What?”

“It’s nice we can just sit here and talk without worrying about flirting and all that shit…” Jinyoung might’ve leaned in first, he can’t remember.  He only remembered the way Mark’s lips feel on his, the way his arms pulled him closer, the way he tastes when his tongue slides into his throat the way…

They both freeze when Jinyoung leans in a bit too far and a tiny box topples out of Jinyoung’s pocket.

They both stare at each other in panic for a second, until Jinyoung got up and shoved the box back into his pocket.

“I gotta go.”

* * *

 

The sun was already rising when Jinyoung got back to his building, the tiredness and guilt finally hitting him hard.  All he wanted to do was climb into bed and forget the entire night happened but when he got up to his apartment he was greeted by the last person he wanted to see.

“Jinyoung!”  Jaebum smiled as soon as he saw him but Jinyoung panicked.

“Jaebum?  What are you doing here so early?”

“I took the early flight in to surprise you!”

“I was just explaining to him about how you were at the company all night practicing your lines for the upcoming production, isn’t that right, Jinyoung?”  Youngjae gave him a knowing smile.  _Thank god for Choi Youngjae._

“Oh, right!  I was working hard all night,” Jinyoung leaned in and kissed Jaebum, feeling a little dirty doing so.  “I really missed you.”

“You’re acting kind of strange, is everything okay?”

“I’m fine!  It’s just been… a weird week.”  Jinyoung tried desperately to rub the tiredness out of his eyes.

“I actually really need to talk to you, but I need some fresh air.  You mind going for a walk?”

“Sure, I need to talk to you as well.” 

They end up in a strangely familiar park.  There’s a pond right beside them, the sun was shining brightly in the sky, the scenery as gorgeous.

Jinyoung felt the small box in his pocket and decided he couldn’t wait any longer.  He had to do this now and not dwell on any sort of doubt running through his mind.

“Jaebum, I love you and I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you,”

“Jinyoung?  What are you saying so suddenly?”

“We’ve been through so much together and I can’t imagine life with you,” Jinyoung got down on one knee.

“Wh-what are you doing?!”

“So please, since I can imagine a life with you,”

“No, no, please Jinyoung, get off your knee…”

“Im Jaebum, will you marry m-“

“I SLEPT WITH SUNGJIN!”

I took a second for that statement to fully register in Jinyoung’s mind.

“You… WHAT?”

“Don’t freak out, please.”  Jaebum grabbed Jinyoung by the arm and sat him down on a bench.  “I didn’t think you’d really… my god.”

“Sungjin?!  You’re into Sungjin?!  This entire time-“

“I’m not into Sungjin, not in the slightest, I wanted to break it off with you and I didn’t know what to do…”

“You slept with Sungjin to prove the point?!”  Jinyoung groaned, it felt like all his plans were coming crashing down on him.

“Listen to me Jinyoung, I’m not good for you.  We’re in our early twenties for god sake, I’m not thinking about marrying anyone anytime soon.  You have so many big dreams and plans and being together with me would just hold you back.  I have no idea what I want to do with my life yet and I can’t sit here and lie to myself saying that I’m ready for all of this.  You need to live your dreams and I need to figure out my life.”

“I thought my dreams included you... _our_ dreams.”

“No, _your_ dreams.  You’re going to do so many incredible things and I’ll make you miserable because I’ll be holding you back.”

“Jaebum-“

“Listen, I’m letting you go.  You’ll be just fine, I know that.”

Jinyoung’s heart still felt like something had pulled it out of his chest and stomped on it, but there was nothing he could say to make Jaebum change his mind.

He had to move on.

* * *

 

“I heard you got your first supporting role, congrats.”  The first time Jinyoung saw Mark again was at the monthly social at the company, a week later.

“Thanks…”

“You don’t seem so happy about it.”  Mark said, his voice light.

“I’m sorry about last week.” 

“It’s fine.”

A moment of silence.

“We wouldn’t have worked out anyway, you and I are completely different.  Cats and dogs.”  Mark said.

Jinyoung took a long swig of his beer.  “You’re right, like oil and water.”

“Sandpaper and bare ass.”

“That’s disgusting.”

Mark laughed.  “You’re the ass.”

“Thanks.”  Jinyoung laughed for the first time that week.

He was still young, there was still time.

Everything would turn out okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos, and I hope you have/had a fantastic day!!


	3. Chapter 3

“So, guess that rules out this JB guy as my dad.  I can’t believe he got with Sungjin…”  Yugyeom said as he crossed out his name on the piece of paper Yugyeom was now using to write down clues.

“I know.”  No matter how many times he recalled that moment, the fact that Jaebum slept with Sungjin would always leave him stunned.

“Let’s see... that leaves us with this Wang guy and Mark!  What happened to them?” Yugyeom was snuggled up in his bed already but Jinyoung knew it would be pointless to try to stop the story here.  Yugyeom would just whine until he continued.

“Mark dumped his boyfriend and decided to follow his dreams and travel the world.  We kept in touch via postcards and letters.  We ended up becoming pretty good friends.” 

“And the Wang guy?”

“Him?  I actually ran into him again two years later.”

* * *

 

  _1998_

“That was our special news bulletin on JYP acting company!  Please buy your tickets now for their upcoming production starring the amazing Park Jinyoung!  From your local news that has been Jackson Wang!  Good night!”

“The _amazing_ Park Jinyoung?”  It had been two years since Jinyoung had seen Jackson- in real life that is.  Jackson had become a local news celebrity in the past year; Jinyoung saw him on television all the time.

“As soon as I saw your name I had to take this assignment.”  Jackson was dressed suavely in a tight white button down and navy-blue pants.  His face had become sharper.  “Congratulations on your lead role.”

Jinyoung had only met Jackson briefly and he hadn’t developed much of an opinion on him.  He vaguely remembered him inviting him to a threesome.  The thought brought a slight flush to Jinyoung’s cheeks.  “Thank you.”

They didn’t know what to say at this point- the obvious topic lingering in the air.  Jackson decided to speak first.

“I heard things didn’t work out with Jaebum.”  It used to hit him like a rock every time someone brought up his failed engagement but after two years it finally felt like Jinyoung had gotten over it.

“That’s old news, we were young and stupid.  It wouldn’t have worked out.”  Jinyoung also realized that he was being much too rash with his decisions.  Jaebum had been right all along.  “I’ve completely moved on.”

“I told you once and I’ll tell you again- someone as handsome as you will have no problem finding someone, especially here in New York.” 

Jinyoung remembers their first meeting a bit more clearly now.  “What about you?  Did things work out with your economics professor?”

Jackson laughed heartily at that.  “Well, I did pass economics with flying colors, but our physical relationship wasn’t exactly long term.”

It was weird to think about how different they were after only two years.  Fresh out of college Jinyoung still felt like a teenager but now he had his life put together- starring in his first major role after two years of hard work.  He could only go up from here. 

Jinyoung could feel Jackson staring at him- obviously not wanting to leave. The air felt thick with tension unlike Jinyoung had ever felt before. “Did you need anything else?  I was about to go home.”

“Actually, are you free tonight?  I know this may seem a bit forward but, I’d like to take you out to dinner- only if you’re free!”

Jinyoung’s first instinct was to say no since he needed to go over his lines and prepare himself for the premiere of his musical but there was something in him that wanted to take a chance.  It had been too long since he went out with anyone and who knows- maybe some loosening up before his big debut was exactly what he needed to relax.  Jackson was the perfect person to spend time with if he was looking for a good time.

“Actually, I think I am free tonight.”

* * *

 

“You’ve really wanted to be a star on Broadway forever?”  Jackson laughed as they exited the restaurant they were at; holding hands and walking aimlessly into the dimly lit streets.

“I came out of the womb singing.”  Jinyoung joked.

“You’re so much funnier after some wine, and here Jaebum told me you were uptight.” 

“He what?”

“Oh, I’m sure he didn’t mean it in a bad way.  He was dating you after all.”  Jackson backtracked.  “You really chased your dreams, didn’t you?”

“It’s weird to think I’m finally here.  What about you Jackson?  Did you always dream of becoming a news reporter?”

“I always knew I was going to be on tv, I’m made for stardom obviously,” Jackson giggled when Jinyoung thwacked him on the shoulder.  “Up until I was sixteen I wanted to become a rapper.”

“Really, a rapper?”  Jinyoung tried to hide his giggles but he couldn’t.

“What?  You think I wouldn’t be a good rapper?”

“What would be your stage name?  Lil Wang?”  Jinyoung couldn’t stop laughing now but Jackson was less than impressed.  “Alright, why don’t you rap a bit.  Let’s see how good you are.”

“You asked for it!”  Jackson proudly started rapping and Jinyoung listened carefully. 

Jinyoung bobbed his head to Jackson’s words; enjoying it as much as he possibly could.

“So, what did you think?”  Jackson said as he finished, ending his line with a long draw out _skrrrt_.

“Uh,” Jinyoung was desperately looking for a compliment but he couldn’t lie.  “I wouldn’t give up your day job.”

Jackson crossed his arms and pouted and Jinyoung instinctively went up to comfort him. 

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung said, regretting his words.  “It wasn’t that bad.”  Honestly, Jinyoung thought he was joking about the whole rapping thing but he was taking this pretty hard.

“Park Jinyoung, I didn’t know you were such a savage.”

“I’m sorry please-“

“There’s only one way you can make it up to me now.”

“What would be that one way?”

Jackson pointed to his lips.  “Maybe a kiss would make me feel better.”

“What are you, five?” 

“It’s not like we haven’t kissed before.”

Jinyoung didn’t need to think too hard before he leaned in, pressing his lips to Jackson’s for the second time in his life.  This time he felt much more confident in enjoying what he was doing.  He pulled away after a moment.  “Was that good enough?”

Jackson didn’t let Jinyoung get too far away.  “Nope, not good enough yet.”

Jackson pulled Jinyoung back in for a deeper kiss.

He didn’t ever want to stop kissing him.

* * *

 

Jinyoung felt his heart getting caught up again.

Having Jackson by his side felt so natural in such a short amount of time.  One moment he was almost a stranger and the next he was front row every single time Jinyoung performed in his musical.  Jackson almost insisted to monitor him backstage and stay at the company whenever he could. 

Jackson so genuinely wanted to know Jinyoung and be there for him- Jinyoung was swept away so easily.  He didn’t want to stay away from Jackson for more than a day.  Jinyoung’s heart was truly in love; there was no denying it.  This wasn’t puppy love or superficial attraction.  He was mature, and he knew what he was doing.

“Did you want coffee, tea?”

“Do you have any wine?”  Jinyoung sat in Jackson’s home.  It was much cleaner than the apartment he was cramped in back when he was still in college.

“Oh?  Right to the good stuff!  A glass of wine, coming right up!”

Jinyoung spotted a familiar journal on top of one of Jackson’s shelves.  Jinyoung didn’t know anything about the relationship between Jaebum and Jackson other than the fact they were good friends in high school.  He was suddenly very curious as to why he wanted to give that journal to Jackson so badly.

Jinyoung looked back to the kitchen to make sure Jackson wasn’t walking back yet before he got up and pulled the journal off the shelf.  He opened it expecting something written but instead, a handful of photos fell out of it.  Jinyoung was flustered as he quickly went to pick them up. 

They were all in black in white, the first picture he picked up was a picture of a naked torso from the waist up.  _Strange._   The next photo was the same torso from a different angle.  There were a couple pictures like that until the angle started getting lower and he could see that below that naked torso was a very naked bottom half-

“Don’t worry, I was an adult when those photos were taken.”  Jackson’s voice startled Jinyoung he dropped all the photos again.

“ _Shit_.”  Jinyoung tried to pick up the photos again as Jackson laughed.

“You should’ve told me you liked those photos- I would’ve told you to keep them.”

“Are these…?”

“Jaebum took them for his senior photography project.  They’re pretty artsy, right?”

“ _Jaebum_ took them?”

“What?  Do you have a problem with that?”

“You were naked and…”

“And… what?  Jaebum’s never seen _you_ naked before?”  Jackson had him there.

“It’s not that, it’s just that he’s my ex and you guys have been together like that, and we haven’t even been together like that…”  Jinyoung knew he was rambling as he got more and more embarrassed.

Jackson handed Jinyoung his glass of wine, chuckling at Jinyoung’s disposition.  “We can fix that problem pretty easily.”

Jackson was giving him those smoldering eyes that make Jinyoung weak in the knees.  “I mean, we could.”

“So… should we?”

Jinyoung downed his entire glass of wine in one shot before pulling Jackson in for an intense kiss.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

* * *

 

It had been almost eight months since Jinyoung had been dating Jackson.  Things had been going so smoothly in almost all aspects of his life that Jinyoung couldn’t believe it.  His play had been going on with shows throughout all the months and it was gaining more and more recognition that they were considering playing in more locations.  Jinyoung’s Broadway dreams were so close he could taste it.

Jackson was working on a special report for work so hadn’t been able to make Jinyoung’s shows recently but Jinyoung didn’t mind- he would see him at home where he had practically moved in with Jackson.

It was autumn heading into winter when Jinyoung received a knock on his practice room door.  He was in there alone packing up his things to leave after he had finished up for the day.   “Who is it?”  He shouted.

“This is the FBI!  Park Jinyoung, you’re under arrest!”

“What?”  Jinyoung ran over to the door and opened it as fast as he could.  “What are you…”  Jinyoung stared at the person standing in front of him and his heart rate went down considerably.  “Seriously?”

“Surprise!  You’re innocent today Park Jinyoung, but who knows what’ll happen in the future…”  Mark's high pitched laughter was both irritating and endearing.  His endearing side won over as Jinyoung joined in laughing and pulled him in for a hug.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until summer!”  Mark looked almost the same- the only major difference being that his bright red hair was now bleached blond.  Jinyoung grabbed his bag at went back to the door.  “Walk with me?”

Mark nodded.  “Traveling was pretty great, but I actually had a revelation while I was in Mexico.”

“Oh really?”  Jinyoung walked out of the company and straight into the jewelry store across the street.

“Why are we here?”  Mark asked.

“I just need to pick something up- continue with your story.”  Jinyoung urged.

“Okay… well anyway, while I was there I met this guy.  I’m pretty sure his name was Alexandro or Alejandro or something… I was kind of drunk at the time.” 

“Was he hot?”  Jinyoung teased.

“He was pretty damn hot, and he was looking at me like I was his next full course meal.”

“You?  You’re hardly an appetizer.”

“ _Jinyoung._ ”

Jinyoung laughed.  “I’m sorry, continue.”

“Anyway, we meet on the dance floor and we’re both tipsy and he’s grinding on me, he pulled me in for a kiss and we’re making out, but then I pushed him away.  I realized something.”

“Pickup for Jinyoung Park,”  Jinyoung said to the jeweler.  “What did you realize?”

“I didn’t want to sleep with Ale-whatever his name was.  It felt so wrong because my heart is still here in New York and… and… are those rings?”

Jinyoung picked up two small boxes that the jeweler had laid out for him.  “Uh, yeah, I’ve actually been meaning to tell you something.”

Mark’s eyes looked a little lost.  “You’re…”

“These are engagement rings.” 

“You… you.”  Mark grabbed Jinyoung by the arm and pulled him outside before speaking at him in a harsh tone.  “You’re getting engaged?!  You sent me so many letters and you didn’t even mention this to me once?”

“I told you I was dating-“

“ _Dating_ doesn’t mean I’m in a committed relationship and am contemplating marriage!”  Jinyoung had never heard Mark’s voice go so loud.  He looked like he was ready to throw his bag at him.

“I’m sorry, honestly I don’t know why but I was really nervous to tell you.”  Jinyoung wasn’t upset at Mark’s reaction.  Jinyoung did keep him in the dark for no good reason.  “Mark, I love him so much.  I really want you to be happy for me.”

“I…”  Mark took a deep breath to calm himself.  “I am happy for you.”  Mark pulled him into a hug that seemed forced.  “I’m really happy for you Jinyoung, alright?  You’re such a good… friend.  If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“Thank you, Mark, it really means a lot to have your support.  I’m sorry I had to spring all of this on you so suddenly.”

“Yeah, I actually have to go check into my hotel- I came here before even doing that.  That was stupid of me.  So, I’ll just… go.  Keep in touch, alright?” 

Mark disappeared so quickly Jinyoung could hardly say _bye._

* * *

 

It was late in the evening when Jackson showed up to dinner in an upscale bar.  “You invited me out but you’re late?”

“Sorry, I had to wrap up some things at work.”  Jackson had seemed strangely distant over the past month.  Jinyoung hadn’t popped the question yet because something felt weird in their relationship and he didn’t know what it was.

“Oh yeah, that special news story you’ve been working on?”

“Yeah, it’s set to air tonight.”  Jackson sat down.  “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Jinyoung noticed there was a TV in the place set to Jackson’s news channel.  “We’ll get to see it then?”

“Yes, but before it shows we need to talk.”  Jinyoung didn’t like Jackson’s ominous tone.  “The story is kind of about you.”

“About me?!”

“Well, not about you, about that guy you work for, JYP.”

“What about him?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of research, at your company and on this guy and it turned out he’s behind one of the biggest money laundering scandals in the business.”

“Money laundering?  Why on earth would he be doing that?  We make plenty of money at the company.”

“You do _now_ , thanks to the success if your play but he’s been in the business much longer than that,” Jackson forgoes ordering food.  “His plays have not been successful in the past and he has been doing this as a side hustle for years.”

“That’s why you’ve been at the company so often over these months?”  Jinyoung has a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“That’s not entirely why, but it has been helpful.”

“But Jackson… if that story airs the company will be finished.  It’ll be all over for all of us.”

“Nonsense, you’re not the culprit here-“

“Don’t you understand?  If JYP is outed as a fraud the entire company will get blamed even if we had nothing to do with it.  I’m the star actor of the company- people are going to see my name and know I’m from JYP and not hire me.”

“You’re making this such a big deal-“

“That’s because it is a big deal!”

“I’m a news reporter Jinyoung, it’s my job to report on the truth.”

“I’ll get blackballed by every agency in the country if this story airs- please Jackson.  There must be something you can do to stop this.  You care about me, right?  You wouldn’t want me to lose my job over this, right?”  The desperation in Jinyoung’s voice didn’t even phase Jackson.

“Jinyoung, I care about you, but a job is a job.  How would I look if I try to cancel the biggest scoop we’ve had all year?  What kind of reporter would I be?  How would I look?”

“So, you’re telling me you care more about your stupid job than me?”

“ _Stupid_ job?  It’s not a stupid job.”

“This whole time, was this all you were after?”  Jinyoung blinked back angry tears.  He had been so wrong all this time.  He thought he got it right this time.

“Jinyoung, I’ve told you time and time again that I love you, my feelings are still the same.”

“If you loved me you wouldn’t be ruining every chance I have to achieve my dreams.”

The TV in the restaurant lit up with the evening news, automatically rolling to the breaking news story.  Jackson’s voice on the TV hurt him- each word he spoke piercing him like a knife.  Betrayal in its truest form.  “Jinyoung, please sit down.”

“No!”  Jinyoung didn’t care if he was screaming and everyone in the restaurant was staring at them.  “It’s always been about you and your job!  I’m sorry, but maybe you should go date that stupid job of yours because it’s obvious I mean nothing to you in comparison.”

“I don’t get why you’re so upset.”

“And that’s exactly what the problem is.”  Jinyoung felt like throwing a glass of water in his face or something- but he wasn’t that childish.  He was a grown adult who had made a terrible mistake and he would have to deal with the consequences himself.

Unfortunately, from here on out it seemed like things could only get worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you have/had a wonderful day!


	4. Chapter 4

“I really liked Jackson!”  Yugyeom was wide awake as Jinyoung told him how things ended with Jackson.  “I can’t believe he would do that to you!  He’s such a…”

“Traitor?”  Jinyoung finished for him.

“Yeah!  What an awful guy!”

Jinyoung sighed.  “It’s not entirely his fault, he was doing his job.  In the end, if he didn’t go public with that story someone else would’ve.”

“Still!  He knew about your dreams and how much your career meant to you…”  Yugyeom was pulled into a hug by his father.  “Did he break it?”

“Break what?”

“Your heart?” 

Jinyoung felt a twinge of pain deep inside.  Instead of answering he pulled Yugyeom closer and gave him a kiss on his forehead.  Yugyeom seemed to understand.

“What happened after the news came out?”

“Well, the company head was arrested and everyone who worked there was left jobless with a stained reputation.  It was impossible for me to recover and get back into the acting scene, nobody would hire me after the scandal.”  Jinyoung hated recalling such awful things, but it was a key part of his story.  “In the end, I lost everything, and for a long time, nothing seemed to matter.”

* * *

 

_2001_

It was a late September evening when Jinyoung’s phone rang out of the blue. 

“Are you watching?”  He hadn’t heard that voice in three years.

“Mark?”

“Yes, it’s me, who did you think it was?  Are you watching the news or not?”

Jinyoung stared at Jackson’s face on the tv, listing the details on how his former boss was now facing even more corruption charges.  Watching this stuff couldn’t have been good from his mental state- but he couldn’t look away.  It was like looking into your deep dark past and watching it somehow spiral down even further.  “Yeah, I’m watching, why did you call?  To laugh at me?”

“No.”

“Then why?”

“I wanted to make sure you were still hanging on.”

Jinyoung hated the fact that he couldn’t stay mad at Mark.  He caught himself smiling and tried to twist his lips into a scowl.  “It took you three years to think to call me?”

“Does it matter?  I’m calling you now, aren’t I?” Mark was so laid-back it annoyed him to no end. 

Did Mark even realize how much he missed him after all these years?

“Jinyoung?”  Mark’s voice saying his name made his heart skip a beat.  He wanted to yell at him, but in the end, he couldn’t do it. 

“Sorry, how are you doing?”

Jinyoung could almost feel the smile through the receiver as Mark spoke to him.  “I got a new roommate, and I work at a bookstore now.”

“Don’t you hate reading?”

Mark laughed in that stupid high-pitched tone Jinyoung missed so much.  “You don’t need to like books to sell books, Jinyoung.”

“Alright, alright…”

“How are you?”

“I’m working at a publishing company editing articles, and I absolutely hate it.”

“Sounds like you’ve finally found adulthood bliss.”  Mark laughed again.  “Are you seeing anyone?”

“No, no, no, I haven’t dated anyone in three years.”  Jinyoung might have had a couple hook-ups here and there but he wasn’t about to tell Mark all about his one-night stands.  “Are you are…?”

“I’m seeing a guy named Brian.” 

“Oh.”  Jinyoung wasn’t expecting that for some reason.  “A long time?”

“No, just over a month.”

“So, I mean, it’s nothing serious, right?”

“It’s been a good month.”  Mark said too matter-of-factly.

“Oh.”

“Hey, are you still at the same place?  Maybe we could meet up for a drink, or something?”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.”  Jinyoung didn’t know why he felt so betrayed. 

“Okay. Well, you know my number.” 

The conversation ended as quickly as it started, Jinyoung’s mood suddenly dropping lower than he thought was possible.

* * *

 

Jinyoung had completely fallen off the wagon.  He called into work sick for the entire week, getting out of bed was a hassle.  All he wanted to do was sit and eat doughnuts while crying.  His entire life was a mess and he knew it was his own fault.  How could he have been so stupid?

“Stupid, stupid, stupid..”  His phone had been ringing non-stop, but he couldn’t bring himself to answer.  Who else would be calling him other than Mark?  The last thing he wanted to hear was Mark talking about his new boyfriend.  The thought almost made him want to vomit.  He hoped his neighbors wouldn’t call the cops if he started to scream because he felt like he needed to let something pent up anger out.

He was in the middle of his third box of grocery store doughnuts when his doorbell started ringing.

“Jinyoung?  Jinyoung!” 

He could hear Mark’s muffled voice through the wood and he almost crawled back into bed immediately.  He knew Mark wasn’t going to leave him alone until he answered, so he crawled out of bed wrapped in his musty blanket and opened the door.

“Oh my god, are you okay?”  Mark was worried.  Jinyoung must’ve looked just as bad as he felt. 

“Am I okay?  In what respect?”

Mark stepped inside and Jinyoung almost forgot that he hadn’t cleaned in weeks either.  “What happened to your place?  What happened to… you?” Mark scrunched his nose.  “When was the last time you showered?” Mark looked almost the same as the last time he saw him- except his hair was a dark chocolate brown now.

“I honestly can’t remember.”

“Jinyoung, sit down, now.”  Jinyoung walked over to his couch and shoved the stack of clothes that were on top onto the floor, so he could sit.  “We need to talk.”

“Why are you here?”

“I told you I wanted to make sure you were still hanging on, and it’s clear to me now things aren’t as alright as you told me over the phone.”

“ _Why_ are you here?”  He was happy to see Mark, he was sad to see Mark, he was upset to see Mark.  Why did Mark care so much for his garbage self anyway?  I would be so easy to just throw him and not think about it ever again.  Why did he have to make everything so hard?

“Don’t you even remember what day it is today?”

Jinyoung was drawing a blank.  “What are you talking about?”

“It’s your birthday, I kept calling you to ask if we could go out for the occasion, but you never picked up.  I thought it was worth a try to check your house even though I doubted you would be home but this… this isn’t right.”

“It’s my birthday?”  Jinyoung didn’t even know what day of the week it was let alone the actual date.  “Oh god, it is my birthday, isn’t it?”

“This… This isn’t the Jinyoung I knew.” 

Jinyoung sprung up from his seat.  “Ten minutes, I’ll go shower.  I’ll buy you drinks, just…”  Jinyoung sighed.  “I’m so sorry, please don’t look at me like that.  It’s making me feel even more worthless than I already am.”

Mark crossed his arms, obviously still disappointed.  “Ten minutes, I’ll be waiting outside.”

* * *

 

It turns out Jinyoung didn’t feel half as bad after a couple of drinks.

Getting relatively close to blackout drunk with Mark brought back memories.  Mark laughing at everything Jinyoung said, Jinyoung sloppily pulling Mark to dance in the bar, and both getting tired and sitting back down to discuss the most pointless things.

“You know?  Why is it that so many people think that we need to do things at a certain age to be successful?  By this age; we need a job, this age; marriage, this age; kids!  What a load of bullshit.”  Mark said as he took another swig of his beer.  “You gotta agree with me now, right Jinyoungie?”

“What?”  Jinyoung was staring so intensely at Mark he couldn’t pay attention to what he was saying anymore.

“Jinyoung?”

“God… you’re so handsome.” 

Mark laughed at that.  “Why, thank you.”

Jinyoung didn’t stop staring.

“What?”  Mark asked.

“The thing is…”  Something in Jinyoung’s mind was telling him to stop this train of thought immediately, but it was too muffled by alcohol for him to listen.  “I like you, I’ve always liked you.”

Mark always had trouble looking him directly in the eyes but at that moment he stared at him so deeply Jinyoung felt a jolt. 

“Like… not ‘like’ isn’t what this is… I love you.  I’m in love with you.  I’ve _always_ been in love with you.”

“Why… why didn’t you ever tell me?”  Mark’s eyes were shining, and his lip quivered ever so slightly as he spoke.

“You’d never be interested in me.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Jinyoung was still staring, before he knew what he was doing he leaned into Mark, pressing their lips together.

“Stop,” Mark pushed Jinyoung away. “Not like this, you’re a mess.”

“Mark-“

“Why didn’t you tell me this when you had your shit together?”

“My shit is together.”

“No, it’s not, you’re a mess and you know it.”

“What?  That’s funny coming from you Mark, you who could be doing anything yet you’re working in a _bookstore?_ At least I went out there and tried.”  Jinyoung knows he should stop speaking but it’s too late- the word vomit spilling from his mouth refused to stop.  “I’m just saying this as a friend maybe you should get some help, life rehab perhaps?  I don’t know if they even had that, but you need it.”

“I should go to life rehab?”  Mark got up from his stool abruptly.

“Yeah…” Jinyoung slurred.

Mark threw his beer bottle right past Jinyoung’s head.  It slammed into the wall behind him and shattered, glass going everywhere.  Everyone stared at them.

“Fuck you Park Jinyoung,” Mark pushed his stool back in so hard it fell, the loud metal sound of it hitting the floor rang in Jinyoung’s hears.  “Get out of my damn life for real if you think you’re too fucking good for me.”

Jinyoung sobered up quickly once he heard how upset Mark was.  “Wait-“

It was too late.

Mark walked out of his life for Jinyoung was sure would be the last time.

* * *

 

Jinyoung almost wished he had forgotten that night.  He would wake up every single morning for the next month thinking about how much he had screwed up.

Jinyoung always considered himself an organized thoughtful individual but he had finally realized that was never the case.  He was impulsive to the point it ruined him- he would plan for his future, but he couldn’t see the things that were right in front of him.  He never noticed everything he needed was right in front of him and he pushed it all away.

Jinyoung dialed Mark’s number for what seemed like the hundredth time that month- desperate to get a hold of him but even he understood why he never answered his calls.  Jinyoung wouldn’t have answered his own calls in the same situation either.

“Hey, It’s Jinyoung, um, again…”  Jinyoung said as his call went to Mark’s voicemail.  “Just calling to… yeah.  Just making sure you’re hanging in there.  Bye.”  Jinyoung put down the phone.  This whole charade was pathetic but somehow, he couldn’t accept this as it was and move on.

Months passed by and Jinyoung stopped calling.  Mark had probably changed his number by now or something.  He eventually focused back in on his job, trying to immerse himself in proofreading articles and not think about dating or marriage or love.  He didn’t deserve any of that.

It was his goal to stop thinking about Mark but every day he passed by a used bookstore to go home he crossed his mind.  He’d been inside before, and Mark didn’t work there, but that didn’t stop him from remembering.

It was freezing cold that night he stopped in his tracks in front of the bookstore.  One of the books caught his eye, and before he could stop himself he walked inside.

“Excuse me, can I see that book?”  He asked the storekeeper.  “That one, in the window display.”

“Oh, _Lord of The Flies_ , excellent choice sir.”  Jinyoung remembered how many copies of this book Mark had. 

“Can I look at it?”

“Of course, this one actually has a dedication inside.”

That book could have been dedicated to anyone, really, so Jinyoung wasn’t expecting much.  As soon as he opened the book the words caught his eye.

_To my dear son Mark_

_“The thing is - fear can't hurt you any more than a dream.”_

_Chase what you seek and live your life to the fullest._

_From your loving Father_

Jinyoung felt like he had been punched in the gut.

“I’ll take it.”

* * *

 

“You must be… long sorry voicemail guy?  Haven’t heard from you in a while.” 

“It’s Jinyoung, and you are…?”

“I’m Mark’s roommate, Sooyoung.  Mark’s not home right now, but he should be back soon, do you want to come in and wait?”

Jinyoung clenched the wrapped book in his hand.  “Sure, where is he?”

“He’s at school, he started grad school at the beginning of the year.”

“Oh.”  Jinyoung vaguely remembered Mark mentioning he wanted to go back to school.

“Sit wherever you want, I left my pasta on the stove!”  Sooyoung said as she ran off to the kitchen.

Jinyoung walked into the roomy apartment, Mark’s collection of books lines up against a shelf right next to the front door.  This apartment was much bigger than his old place, but he could still see bits and pieces of his personality scattered into the décor.

“Hey.”  He heard a man’s voice from up the stairs.  “How you doing?”

Jinyoung turned around and looked up to see a man.  He had no idea who this guy was, so he just stared at him.

“Brian.”  _Oh._

“Hey… just, uh, waiting for Mark.”  Jinyoung fidgeted around, not knowing how to handle the unexpected situation.  “Are you the same Brian he mentioned a while back?”

“I hope so; unless he’s collecting Brian’s.”  The man joked.  “Anyway, I’m pretty sure I’m the only Brian who’s actually living with him.”  He said before giving him a peace sign and walking out of the room.

It was weird to think how one thing could be eating away at you for months on end, but it doesn’t have any impact on the world around you.  You could be drowning or suffering within yourself and everyone else moves on like nothing is wrong.  The world didn’t revolve around Jinyoung, and people would move on.  That’s just the way things work.

Book still in hand, Jinyoung tiptoed back over the front door and let himself out, closing the door not only to Mark’s apartment but to another part of his life.

* * *

* * *

 

 “So…”  Yugyeom wasn’t even in his bed anymore, he was pacing around his room trying to process the story for all it was worth.  “You’re in love with Mark who is in love with Brian but when Mark was in love with you, you were in love with Jackson who was more in love with his job than anyone else and now… nobody’s in love with you... that’s complicated.”

“Y-yeah.” 

“What happened next?”

“Well, a couple months later I ran into Jackson again-“

“Jackson?! The TRAITOR?”

“Don’t call him that, he was happy to see me.”  Jinyoung got up and pulled Yugyeom by the shoulders so he was sitting on his bed again.  “Jackson had actually published a book and he invited me to the launch party.  He told me he wanted to make amends with anyone he’s ever hurt.”

“Dad, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

“What?”

“Telling me this mystery love story!  What if I don’t like who my real daddy is?”

“Yugyeom, you love your daddy, and you don’t need to wait long to find out who he is because at that very party-“

“It’s Jackson, isn’t it?!”  Yugyeom said, his eyes wet.  “I can’t accept this!”

“Take it easy Yugyeom, it’s just a story.”  Jinyoung pulled Yugyeom into his arms.  “This one has a happy ending.”

“How does it have a happy ending?!  You and my daddy, whoever he is, you’re getting divorced!  What’s the happy in that?”  Yugyeom pulled himself out of Jinyoung’s arms and buried his face in his pillow.

“I think we should stop now.”  Jinyoung said, giving Yugyeom a final pat on the back.  Yugyeom didn’t respond, obviously done with talking to him for the night.

Jinyoung was about to turn off the lights and leave the room when he heard Yugyeom.  “Dad!”

“Hm?”

“I can’t believe you were such an idiot… but I still love you.”

Jinyoung smiled as he turned the lights off.

“Love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, comments/kudos are appreciated and I hope you have/had a wonderful day!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter... i decided to split this last chapter for pacing reasons. the next chapter will be the last. ^^

“Why are you still so grumpy?”  Jinyoung took Yugyeom to the park the next day.

“I reviewed all the notes I made yesterday this morning and I still have no idea who my real dad is.”  Yugyeom crossed his arms in defeat as they sat on a bench.

“You know, I wasn’t finished my story yet; we ended when I met up with Jackson-“

Yugyeom covered his ears.  “It’s not him- I figured that out”

“Oh really?”

“He still does the news- I checked this morning.  That guy definitely isn’t dad.”

“Smart thinking.”  Jinyoung smirked.  “Just let me finish, everything will make sense.”

* * *

 

_2001_

“Here it is!”  Jackson held up his book to Jinyoung.  “Isn’t it beautiful?”

Jinyoung felt out of place at a much too formal book launch event held at Jackson’s luxurious penthouse.  He wasn’t sure why he decided to show up, since he and Jackson weren’t exactly the best of friends. 

“Amazing, I still can’t believe you managed to write a book.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”  Jackson was only joking about being upset- as he laughed it off moments later.  “I’m really glad you could make it, I actually needed to talk to you.”

“If it’s about anything that happened in the past let’s forget about it.  I came because I wanted to clear the air- are we good?”

“I actually wanted to pull you aside to tell you you’re looking more handsome than ever.”

Jinyoung laughed at that.  “Don’t mess with me Jackson.”

“Right, right… friends?”  Jackson asked.

“Friends.”  Jinyoung held out his hand and they shook on it.

“Actually, the real reason I wanted you to come is that there’s someone here I’d like you to meet.”  Jackson took him by the hand.  “Come with me.”

Jinyoung didn’t know what Jackson was up to only seconds after fixing their friendship but he didn’t trust it one bit. 

“He’s an old friend of mine, but I think you guys would hit it off.”  Jackson pulled him through the party to the balcony.

Jinyoung was a few seconds away from forcing himself out of Jackson’s grip since he wasn’t interested in a relationship at the time- but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw him.

“Jaebum?”

Jackson tapped him on the shoulder.  “I need to go say hi to more guests, good luck.”  He disappeared back into the party and left them alone.

It had been so many years he almost didn’t believe it was him.  He had aged but his face was still the same Jaebum he knew- his hair short and black.  “You…”

“Me?”  Jaebum may have looked similar but his aura was completely different.  Jinyoung hadn’t ever seen him dressed so formally- he was only into ripped jeans and maybe an untucked dress shirt if he was feeling fancy back in the day.  Today he wore loose trousers and a full suit top.

“What are you doing here, in New York?”

“I live here now, I moved here a couple months ago.  I tried to get in touch with you, but you weren’t picking up your phone… did you change your number?”

Jinyoung still had the same number but there were several reasons as to why he might’ve been ignoring his phone calls a few months ago.  “Sorry, I’ve been meaning to check those calls… I lost your number.”

Jaebum scoffed.  “Sure.”

“No, I’m serious.”  Jinyoung walked closer and leaned against the rails of the balcony closer to Jaebum.  “How did you end up moving here?”

“My company decided to upgrade and relocate.  It was either I move here or lose my job.  I realized I didn’t have many ties back home, so I thought I might as well.” Jaebum took a sip of his drink.  “How’s the acting career?”

“I’m actually working at a publishing company now.”

“Mmm, I think I did see something on the news.” 

Jinyoung sighed.  “Yeah, how’s your career as a musician-break dancer-photographer-film director going?”

“I’m actually in marketing now- I sell cereal.” 

“Ah,” Jinyoung laughed- it wasn’t only his life that hadn’t quite turned out the way he planned.  “Guess we’ve both achieved adulthood bliss?”

“Tell me about it, look at this,” Jaebum pulled his front hair back with his hand.  “I swear I’m going bald.”

“Didn’t I used to tell you that if you kept bleaching your hair this was going to happen?!”

“Yes, you did, and you were right,” Jaebum fixed his hair to it was sitting properly again.  “You were right about a lot of things.”

“I couldn’t have been that on track- both of us ended up in the same place.  Doing jobs we hate and wondering where things went wrong.”

“It’s funny how life pans out,” Jaebum took another sip of his drink and turned so he was directly facing Jinyoung.  “What went wrong between us?”

“You slept with my roommate.”  There was no sugar-coating that one.

“Wow…”  Jaebum held his chest like he was in pain.

“Sorry, I believe it was my _plan_ that chased you away.”

“No, it wasn’t your plan, I was scared.”

“Scared?”  This was the first time Jinyoung was hearing this.

“You had your dreams and I was just… lost.  I felt lost when we broke up… I still feel lost.”

Jinyoung knew exactly what Jaebum was talking about.  “Honestly, I’m feeling a bit lost myself.”

“Really, no plans?”  Jaebum teased.

“ _Stop_.” Jinyoung realized then how much he missed Jaebum. 

“Do you ever think that… maybe we just needed some time?  The two of us?”

Jinyoung was stupid in college and so was Jaebum.  It would be a lie to say they had everything figured out now, but they were in a much better place.  “I’m sorry I lost your number.”

“We can fix that,” Jaebum held out his hand.  “Give me your phone.”

Jinyoung didn’t even hesitate to reach into his pocket and pull out his cell phone.

* * *

* * *

 

“What are you guys talking about?”  Yugyeom jumped straight into Jinyoung’s lap when he felt breath against his neck and a voice in his ear.

“Ahhh!  You!”  Yugyeom pointed a finger at the man who suddenly appeared behind him.  “You’re JB!”

Jaebum raised an eyebrow at Jinyoung.  “JB?  I haven’t heard that name since I was in college.”

“Dad!”  Yugyeom leaped from Jinyoung’s lap and into his dad’s embrace.  “I’m so glad you’re you!”

“Don’t ask.”  Jinyoung didn’t feel like explaining.

“Hey, dad!  Did you know we learned all about sexual intercourse in school yesterday?”

“Oh, that’s… nice.”  Jinyoung stifled a laugh when he saw Jaebum’s slightly uncomfortable smile. 

“Jinyoung, can I talk to you for a sec?”  Jaebum put Yugyeom back on the bench and pulled Jinyoung aside so Yugyeom couldn’t hear them.

“Did you receive the papers I sent to your work?” 

“Ah, the divorce papers?”

“Yes, um, I sent them directly to you because they need to be filed soon, but I’m assuming you didn’t sign them yet?”  Jinyoung had shown up empty-handed.

“Sorry, I’ve been flooded with work.”

“It’s only a few signatures, it shouldn’t take that long.”

“I _know_ , it hasn’t even been two days.  Relax.”  Jinyoung wasn’t angry, it wouldn’t take too long to sign the papers.  Something about it felt so final that every time he sat down to try and do it he couldn’t.

“Sorry, I need them by next Wednesday when you drop Yugyeom off again.”  Jaebum reached out an arm then immediately drew back, smoothing down his hair.  “I guess I should go now.”

Jinyoung would never quite understand what happened over the years.  Things were perfect with Jaebum but after all that time things grew dull.  Timing is everything it seemed like his time with Jaebum was up.  Jinyoung never wanted to say he fell out of love, but they both had to stop running away from the truth.

“Alright… bye.”  Jinyoung had felt entirely awful about the situation for long but after sitting down and recalling his past he felt better.  Still lost, but he knew now there was no way to have your entire life figured out. 

Nobody really knew what they were doing, life was all about finding ways to occupy yourself to forget the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing.  Love comes and goes, people come and go, feelings come and go, nothing was ever concrete and Jinyoung would have to accept that.

Jinyoung was already walking away when he heard Yugyeom.  “Daddy!” He came running over to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“T-thank you for telling me the story.”

“You’re welcome,” Yugyeom looked a bit sad.  “You know, I forgot to tell you the happy ending.”

“What is it?”

Jinyoung smiled.  “You.”

Yugyeom wrapped his arms around Jinyoung tightly.  Jinyoung could feel his shoulder getting wet from Yugyeom’s tears.

“Hey, stop,” Jinyoung pulled Yugyeom away from him so he could see his face and wipe away his tears.  “I love you.”

“Me too.”  Yugyeom sniffed, trying to stop crying.

“Go catch up with your dad.”

Jinyoung didn’t wipe his own eyes until they were both out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you have/had a nice day! Comments and kudos are appreciated. ^^


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long to post this... i was feeling a lil bummed out about my writing and wasn't happy with this for a bit but it has mostly passed!! thank you guys for waiting, and thank you @ ron for motivating me to finish this proper. :) comment and kudos always appreciated, hope you all have/had a fantastic day!!

As soon as Jinyoung got home he sat down and signed all of the divorce papers, no guilt.  The past was in the past and this was just an obstacle in the way of him moving forward.

Thinking of his past only made him think of other things he should’ve dealt with a long time ago, things he should’ve put to rest while he had the chance.

He knew exactly where it was to this day, buried deep inside one of the boxes he never unpacked after he abruptly had to move out of Jaebum’s place.

Jinyoung got up and started fishing through the box; all sorts of memories from his past lay inside.  His first acting script, an engagement ring he never got to give away, a stack of college texts he could never sell, and at the very bottom, a very special copy of _Lord of the Flies_ , still in pristine condition.

If Jinyoung was going to truly leave the past behind him, this was the one thing that was holding him back.

* * *

 

Jinyoung knew he had no right to speak to Mark after what happened, but even after he got married and adopted Yugyeom there were still those fleeting memories of Mark that preyed on him right before he went to bed, seeping into his dreams. 

He knew where Mark was now; he had been keeping tabs on him (in hopefully not a stalker-ish way- he just wanted to make sure he was living well) ever since they parted way for the last time.  Mark was doing exactly what he wanted to do.

Jinyoung held the book in hand as he walked into the American HQ for _Amnesty International_ , hoping after all these years Mark wouldn’t be upset.  It was so long, _would he even remember him?_ Would Jinyoung be a distant unimportant memory by this point?  That scared him.

Luckily, as soon as Mark saw him, his eyes shot open and he burst into laughter.  “Jinyoung?” 

His voice was the same, _exactly the same._

“Mark… funny meeting you here.”

* * *

 

“Still living in the same apartment?”  Jinyoung asked as they walked to Mark’s office together.

“Nope, I moved to Brooklyn.”

Mark’s hair was dark now, but it wasn’t quite black, perhaps blue-black?  It was gorgeous.  “Still buying overpriced ice cream?”

“As much as I can get.”

Jinyoung took a seat across from Mark as they arrived.  “Dating?”

“Not right now, you?”

“Divorced.”

“Oh… that’s sad, I guess.”

“You guess?”  Jinyoung almost laughed. 

“You always had those rings; I knew you were rushing things.”

“What about Brian?”

This time, Mark really laughed.  “No, no, we’ve been over for a while.  Brian… there was always something missing with Brian.  It was never quite… right.” 

They both stared at each other awkwardly, not knowing where to go from here. 

“Well, it was nice seeing you.”  Mark spoke up.

“I have something for you.”  Jinyoung said as he reached into his bag and pulled out the book.

“Oh, what’s this?”  Mark took the book in his hands, his curious smile fading as soon as he saw the title.  He placed the book on the desk and flipped open the cover, his eyes shooting wide open as he caught a glimpse of the familiar dedication. 

Jinyoung saw Mark crumble before him, his nose scrunching as he tried to hold back his sniffles.

“Thank you so much,”  Mark said in a strained voice, tears ready to fall.  “How did you find this… where did you find it?!”

“That’s the difficult part to explain,” Jinyoung swallowed hard, his palms were sweating to the point they were noticeably wet.  “This is going to sound bad… I’ve had it for a while.”

“How long?”

“Y-years.”  Jinyoung stuttered.  “I meant to give it to you, I _wanted_ to give it to you… but I couldn’t, and I don’t know why.”

Mark just stared at him, his tears finally betraying him and falling down his face.

“I really tried one time I... you were gone and-“ Seeing Mark like this broke Jinyoung’s heart.  “There’s no excuse, I’m so sorry. “

Mark just nodded his head in disappointment and held the book close to his chest.  “I-I think you should go.”

“Mark…”

“I think you should go.”  Mark said more firmly. 

Jinyoung couldn’t say anything more, so he left.

* * *

 

“You never gave it to him?!”

Jinyoung didn’t like being reprimanded by a ten-year-old; but he deserved it.  “I-“

“It was from his dad!”  Yugyeom was practically yelling at him. 

“I know, I know…”

“Why did you even keep the book if you were never going to give it to him?”

“Why are you so concerned about all of this anyway?

Jinyoung spoke too harshly, making Yugyeom go quiet.  “I just want you to be happy.”

“I _am_ happy.”

“Daddy, trust me, you’re _not_ happy.”

Jinyoung felt like he was suddenly facing a truth that not even he could plan for.

Sometimes, the best things in life come to you strictly by chance, and it’s up to you if you want to take the same path you’ve been going on, or make a U-turn and chase after something you couldn’t have predicted, for better or for worse.

“Yugyeom, put your coat on.”

* * *

 

“Hello?”  Mark’s voice scared him- even though that should’ve been the only thing he could’ve expected to hear after ringing Mark’s intercom in the middle of the night.

“It’s me, Jinyoung.”  Silence.  “Mark?”

“W-what are you doing here?”  Mark’s voice came out in a whisper.

“Uhh…”

“Come on, tell him!”  Yugyeom shouted from next to him.

“Who’s that?” 

“That… would be my son... Yugyeom.”

“Your son?  You brought your son?!  Isn’t that… what are we supposed to do now?!”  Mark sounded angry.

“Uh, you could let us in.”  Jinyoung tried.

Silence.

“I… don’t think he’s going to let us in.”  Jinyoung sighed.

“I think you’re wrong.”  Yugyeom assured him.

“Come on, let’s just go. This was a stupid plan…”  Jinyoung tried to pull Yugyeom away but he wouldn’t budge.

“Just a little bit longer, he’s going to let us in!”

“Okay, here’s the deal, I’m going to count to thirty and if he doesn’t let us in we’re going to go home and never talk about this again, deal?”

“Deal.”

Slowly, they started counting together from one.

They reached ten and Mark didn’t open the door.

“If he lets us in, tell him the story just like how you told me!  Then he’ll know!”

Twenty, no sign of Mark.

“He’ll understand if you tell him, please…”

Twenty-five, nothing.

“Twenty-nine.”  Yugyeom said anxiously.

“Twenty-nine and a quarter.”  Jinyoung followed.

“Twenty-nine… and a half?”

“Twenty-nine and three quarters…”

“What comes after that?”  Yugyeom looked so crushed.

“Time to go.”  Jinyoung took Yugyeom’s hand and lead them off the porch.

“This wasn’t what was supposed to happen!”

“I know.”

“I really thought he would’ve heard us through the intercom and run down the stairs and say-“

“What story?!”  Mark yelled as he ran after them.  “What story?”

Jinyoung stared at Mark then looked down at Yugyeom and who smiling and pushing him forward. 

Jinyoung finally realized after all these years why that stupid book was so hard to let go of.

“I kept your book,”

“Yeah?”  Mark crossed his arms, still annoyed at him.

“Because it was the only thing I had left of you.”

Jinyoung could see Mark processing his words, his face fading from anger to sadness.

“Don’t cry.”

Mark replied by stepping forward and burying his face in Jinyoung’s chest and wrapping his arms around his, not so discreetly wiping his face.  They stood there for a moment until Mark suddenly backed away.  “Oh, um, you must be Yugyeom.”

“You must be Mark.”  He could hear Yugyeom trying to hold back his giggles.  _This kid knew exactly what he was doing, unbelievable._

“So… what happens now?”  Mark crouched down to ask Yugyeom directly.

“You invite us inside, and we tell you the story.” 

Mark was finally smiling, even though his eyes were still shiny with fresh tears.  “Okay.”  He nodded and he took Yugyeom by the hand and led him back up to the porch of his building.

Yugyeom walked inside first.  “It’s right up those stairs, first door on the left.”  Mark said as Yugyeom happily started going up the stairs.

As Yugyeom walked up Mark turned around to face Jinyoung,

“Wait.”  Mark instructed as Yugyeom unknowingly went ahead.

“Wh-“Jinyoung couldn’t say anything before Mark pressed his lips against him, engulfing him in a short but heated kiss.

Mark only smiled before he turned back around and walked up to Yugyeom.

Jinyoung had no idea where this path would lead, but for the first time, that thought didn’t frighten him at all.


End file.
